Tag Team

Well I know I've been in school for almost three weeks now and haven't mentioned a single thing about what my third year of medical school has been like. For those of you out of the loop, I started with Pediatrics. So far it has been awesome. I'm on outpatient so we've had SWEET 9-5 hours the entire time. It has been glorious. On top of that...the doctors are great. Just about all of them have a great sense of humor and love helping you out. The best part about it is they are fully aware that this is our first rotation so they cut us a lot of slack...sometimes a little too much (it makes me worry for when I hit my surgery rotation in a couple of months).

Anyways. I'm sure you're just dying for a fun anecdote from 3OPC (that's the outpatient clinic in case you thought I had joined a gang). Well sometimes when it's slow Beez and I team up and see a patient together to kill some time...a "Tag Team" if you will. Well today we had a pretty decent case. After we suited up...we came up with this....



Yes on clinic days we wear the same underwear. And since it was Thursday, we wore his colors. The kids really like it when we dress up. The doctors were reluctant when we came in all oiled up, but I think it's grown on them. But, back to the task at hand. This is how the kid presented:

Our 14 year old came in after he had been diagnosed with pink eye 5 days ago. He has been taking his antibiotics as scheduled and his eye is now worse. The discharge from his eye is clear and his sclera is "super-red" (more red than normal). Now he complains that it feels like something is in it, pain with movement, and photophobia. Well Beez and put together a great workup and we were pretty confident that it was a viral conjunctivitis and were ready to send him on his way.

Well the after we were pimped in the conference room, we had a little work to do. We went back in to see the patient and the doctor was convinced that this wasn't a virus. Now we concerned that this kid had Glaucoma, Corneal Abrasion, or Herpetic Keratitis (Yes I know this is a virus, but a little more serious than the one's we were thinking of). In a matter of five minutes we were on the phone with Opthamology trying to get this poor kid seen IMMEDIATELY!! Apparently he could be blind before the morning. So much for sending him home with a pat on the back and a note telling him to put a cold compress on it. Samsonite! We were way off!

Maybe our matching underwear was on too tight. Or maybe we still have a lot to learn (I like to think that it's the latter becuase I really like Killer Bee Thursday). But apparently the "practice" of medicine takes a lot of practice (that was clever!). I wish someone would have told me that this isn't as easy as watching an episode of Scrubs. I guess this Tag Team still has some kinks to work out before our Pay-Per-View special.

Aurora, Ohio?

Well I'm off to a wedding this weekend. Let me be the first to tell you my disappointment. When I first heard the name of the town it was going to be in, I was psyched. We were going to Aurora! The breeding ground of the 1992 smash hit comedy, Wayne's World! My heart was set on seeing all the sights from the movie and walking where the voice of Shrek walked. I was even ready to head to this restaurant to give this a try...

BUT...since I'm not very good with my abbreviations, OH apparently means Ohio...NOT Illinois. We're going to a completely different state! My hopes and dreams were crushed when I came to this realization. I was so frustrated I even looked up how many cities in America with this name there actually were...the answer is 8 if you're curious. FYI, it's also my grandma's name. But I had already ruled her out because I was pretty sure the wedding wasn't going to be at her house. To my knowledge, she wasn't even invited to this wedding...that could have been awkward.

Nonetheless, the only thing keeping hope alive is seeing my wife as a bridesmatron this weekend (did you know that's what they're called when they're married?). If you answered yes to this question...YOU'RE A LIAR! I can't wait to see her walk down the isle in a Pepto-Bismol Pink bridesmatron dress. Whatever stomach ache I still have from getting the state wrong is going to cured in an instant when I see that dress on Saturday. But, if that doesn't work...I'll still download Bohemian Rhapsody onto my iPod to help get me through the weekend...

Here I come Ohio!

Study Crazies

First, I apologize for the lack of effort on my blog...wait. No I don't. I'm stuck in the library for 14 hours a day. Cut me some slack...Hyena's. Being cooped up in a room with Beez that long can really do a number on a person's psyche. Unfortunately, that psyche is mine. I have just about reached the threshold for total brain capacity. I noticed that in order to make space for all this new information, a gynormous vien has grown on the side of my forehead. I named it Tommy after UofA Alumn Tom Tolbert:



My vein looks just like him. Trust Me. Where was I? Oh yes. The study crazies. From being cramped in a study room all day memorizing facts like Drucunculus gives you an inflammation and necrosis of your skin after drinking contaminated water really leaves me at a loss of entertainment. So I think my brain has started to compensate by throwing in random "hallucinations" during the day. For example, earlier today whilst studying a Care Bear drove by in his cloud car playing with a Yo-Yo and not wearing a seatbelt. Then a leprechaun wandered in and offered to play me in a game of Uno. I humbly denied. I was in the middle of studying Antibiotics. Then Beez farted. Wait, I didn't imagine that. It occurs roughly every 15 minutes on a daily basis.

Needless to say, the lack of sleep, toxic gas, useless facts have taken a toll on my grey matter. Time to recover. Leepy Leep time for Ah Jota. T-minus 12 days kiddies.

Here's Busey

If you have been a little out of the loop, I'll use this time to fill you in. This past week began the awful summer of Boards Study. In actuality it could be worse. So I'll hold my tongue about complaining...for now...

Anyways, most of the stuff I'm going over is material we have covered before. But every once in awhile little tid bits will pop up that you have never seen before. My favorite thus far came today. I was studying Neurology and found myself rolling on the floor in laughter after reading about " Kluver Bucy Syndrome ". The notes stated (and I quote) "The patient exhibits: Hypersexuality, Docility, Hyperorality". Hilarious!

But after I thought about it, I pondered that this definition was implying something more. And then it hit me. Kluver Bucy is just a play on words about Gary Busey! Somebody just described Gary Busey, made it a Syndrome and then gave it a name that sounded like his! Never in a million years would I have come up with something that witty. Kudos to whomever came up with this...My hat's off to you.

To prove my point. Here is a short clip from Entourage with Gary Busey the Artist. You can see his Hyper-oral tendencies come out in just a mere 20 seconds!

Out & In

Well last week marked a significant event in the history of our little town of Tucson. In-n-Out opened its doors for the first time to this lovely little city. It took me a little over a week, but I finally made it over there. It couldn't have come at better timing. I needed something to cheer me up after being dominated by a Medical Microbiology Final.

While standing in line we discussed the "Secret Menu" available to the public. Now I had heard of such menu but personally I had never ordered from it...maybe I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it. But Beez urged me to try "Animal Style" anyways. I oblidged and my, was I in for a treat. Somebody had actually found a way to make an In-N-Out hamburger more delicious. My tastebuds actually did an End-Zone dance, it was glorious. My ability to describe such a magnificent meal evades me. All I can say is you have to try one for yourself to know what my tongue is talking about.

Normally, my body has a ban on all fast food, but do to this wonderful new discovery...I might just have to partake like an animal every once in awhile. Looks like I'll have to buy some new pants to make room for my new hobby.

Library Man's Lyrics

Earlier this weekend I had my Ipod on "Shuffle Mode" and this song came up. It's from Metallica's Reload album and it's called Low Man's Lyrics. It's an oldie but a goodie as we used to say as children. The lyrics were just depressing and inspirational enough for me to make it my Official Theme Song while studying for my Medical Microbiology Final.


The trash fire is warm
But nowhere safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn

So as I write to you
Of what is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And you won't cry for this man
'Cause low man is due

Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality
My fingers feel for faith
Touch clean with a dirty hand
I touch the clean to the waste

After I thought about it for awhile I realized that it didn't quite fit me. So I decided to make my own version. It goes a little like this...


The Library is warm
But not from my Thyroid Storm
And I can't bear to see
What Beez has for Me
While I Study On The 3rd Floor

So as I write to you
Of what I Still Have To Do
Maybe you'll understand
And you won't laugh at this Mexitalimer
'Cause Ah Jota is due

Please Excuse Me....

My mind seeks what is itchy
My fingers scratch my A-noose
Touch my Mouth with a dirty hand
Enterobius on my Scotch-Tape

Happy Birthday...To Me!!

I celebrated twenty-four years on planet Earth this week. My favorite thing about birthdays is PRESENTS!!! I received the funniest present thus far in the mail today. It looks a little like this...



If you don't get it...You need to start watching Arrested Development. I'll give you a little background. Tobias is an Analyst and Therapist...an Analrapist. But remember, "It's not the spelling you should be worried about".