Finally In The Driver's Seat***

Well yesterday marked the beginning of my second semester of "preceptorshiphood", or whatever you want to call it. It was exciting. It was good to be back in the clinic. The smell of stagnant urine, antibacterial hand sanitizer, and chocolate brought back so many fond memories. Not only did the nurses remember who I was, but they loved my newfound glorious hair. I will remark that none of them were permitted to touch it, that priveledge is reserved for a select number of "special people" in my life.

The clinic was hopping. Patients were late for their appoinments, Dr. C was making runs to the OR, it was madness. I was even left unsupervised for a remarkable amount of time, which is never a good thing. I actually have a little disclaimer written on my shirt tags specifying not only the shirt's washing instructions, but also scenarios in which I am to be monitered at all times. Surprisingly enough, The Clinic is ONE of those places where I am not to be left "alone". So while Dr. C was gone, I saw patients, advised them on which surgeries to undergo, and passed out samples of Cialis*. It was almost as glorious as my hair!!

Shortly after I was reprimanded for my actions, we went back to work. Seeing patients with the intent NOT to do any harm. And then it came...My "right of passage". We were about to examine a new patient and I was offered the drivers seat. Yes, the coveted stool so I could nestle up close to the patient and do the exam myself. What was I about to investigate you ask, well I was looking for the elusive cystocele. With speculum in hand I assumed the position:



Ok, so it didn't quite look like this. I am much handsomer** than this guy. My skin is a golden brown, my hair is beautiful, and the lights were on in the room so a headlight was not necessary. Seriously, is this guy looking to excavate a coal mine???

Anyways, it was my first female exam on a real patient. It was a great experience. I knew what I was looking for, found it, touched it, and gave my patient a celebratory high five all in one quick flawless motion. Dr. C later remarked to me that I was moving up in the world. It was the "New Year" so I have more priveldges than before. Apparently that means I'm allowed to talk to and touch patients now. I have to say, I'm a big fan of my new responsibilities. They're way better than having to clean bedpans and fetching coffee for the residents.

With all that said, it was a good day. I learned a lot and proved that I'm handy with a speculum...if only that were "socially acceptable" outside of a hospital setting. I can't wait till next week. Maybe I'll get to prescribe meds...stay tuned.



*I'm embellishing a bit. Because it was brought to my attention that Cialis does not pass out samples since their stock has plummeted in recent months.

**If this isn't a word...it is now!

***This post is not for those with weak stomachs, under the age of 22, have symptoms of dizziness, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, anemia, throbocytopenia, or allergies to sulfa drugs or cats. The Hunny Bunny holds the right to remove said article from the World Wide Web if the content offends any of the above persons. Proceed at your own risk.