Tuesday, January 23, 2007
It Was Sublime
Tonight I embarked to make myself a late evening snack of the most delicious soup in the world...Top Ramen. It looked like an ordinary package, but as I was taught growing up, you can never judge a book by it's cover. I opened this beautiful little bag of crispy noodles and to my glory 2 PACKAGES OF BEEF FLAVORING FELL OUT!!! It was a divine experience. I'm a little winded from dancing around the house in glee. Well, enough procrastinating. It's time to enjoy this wonderful treat and bask in all the pulchritude of this momentus occasion...Time to enjoy double the flavor of beefy little noodles made with love.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Finally In The Driver's Seat***
Well yesterday marked the beginning of my second semester of "preceptorshiphood", or whatever you want to call it. It was exciting. It was good to be back in the clinic. The smell of stagnant urine, antibacterial hand sanitizer, and chocolate brought back so many fond memories. Not only did the nurses remember who I was, but they loved my newfound glorious hair. I will remark that none of them were permitted to touch it, that priveledge is reserved for a select number of "special people" in my life.
The clinic was hopping. Patients were late for their appoinments, Dr. C was making runs to the OR, it was madness. I was even left unsupervised for a remarkable amount of time, which is never a good thing. I actually have a little disclaimer written on my shirt tags specifying not only the shirt's washing instructions, but also scenarios in which I am to be monitered at all times. Surprisingly enough, The Clinic is ONE of those places where I am not to be left "alone". So while Dr. C was gone, I saw patients, advised them on which surgeries to undergo, and passed out samples of Cialis*. It was almost as glorious as my hair!!
Shortly after I was reprimanded for my actions, we went back to work. Seeing patients with the intent NOT to do any harm. And then it came...My "right of passage". We were about to examine a new patient and I was offered the drivers seat. Yes, the coveted stool so I could nestle up close to the patient and do the exam myself. What was I about to investigate you ask, well I was looking for the elusive cystocele. With speculum in hand I assumed the position:
Ok, so it didn't quite look like this. I am much handsomer** than this guy. My skin is a golden brown, my hair is beautiful, and the lights were on in the room so a headlight was not necessary. Seriously, is this guy looking to excavate a coal mine???
Anyways, it was my first female exam on a real patient. It was a great experience. I knew what I was looking for, found it, touched it, and gave my patient a celebratory high five all in one quick flawless motion. Dr. C later remarked to me that I was moving up in the world. It was the "New Year" so I have more priveldges than before. Apparently that means I'm allowed to talk to and touch patients now. I have to say, I'm a big fan of my new responsibilities. They're way better than having to clean bedpans and fetching coffee for the residents.
With all that said, it was a good day. I learned a lot and proved that I'm handy with a speculum...if only that were "socially acceptable" outside of a hospital setting. I can't wait till next week. Maybe I'll get to prescribe meds...stay tuned.
*I'm embellishing a bit. Because it was brought to my attention that Cialis does not pass out samples since their stock has plummeted in recent months.
**If this isn't a word...it is now!
***This post is not for those with weak stomachs, under the age of 22, have symptoms of dizziness, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, anemia, throbocytopenia, or allergies to sulfa drugs or cats. The Hunny Bunny holds the right to remove said article from the World Wide Web if the content offends any of the above persons. Proceed at your own risk.
The clinic was hopping. Patients were late for their appoinments, Dr. C was making runs to the OR, it was madness. I was even left unsupervised for a remarkable amount of time, which is never a good thing. I actually have a little disclaimer written on my shirt tags specifying not only the shirt's washing instructions, but also scenarios in which I am to be monitered at all times. Surprisingly enough, The Clinic is ONE of those places where I am not to be left "alone". So while Dr. C was gone, I saw patients, advised them on which surgeries to undergo, and passed out samples of Cialis*. It was almost as glorious as my hair!!
Shortly after I was reprimanded for my actions, we went back to work. Seeing patients with the intent NOT to do any harm. And then it came...My "right of passage". We were about to examine a new patient and I was offered the drivers seat. Yes, the coveted stool so I could nestle up close to the patient and do the exam myself. What was I about to investigate you ask, well I was looking for the elusive cystocele. With speculum in hand I assumed the position:
Ok, so it didn't quite look like this. I am much handsomer** than this guy. My skin is a golden brown, my hair is beautiful, and the lights were on in the room so a headlight was not necessary. Seriously, is this guy looking to excavate a coal mine???
Anyways, it was my first female exam on a real patient. It was a great experience. I knew what I was looking for, found it, touched it, and gave my patient a celebratory high five all in one quick flawless motion. Dr. C later remarked to me that I was moving up in the world. It was the "New Year" so I have more priveldges than before. Apparently that means I'm allowed to talk to and touch patients now. I have to say, I'm a big fan of my new responsibilities. They're way better than having to clean bedpans and fetching coffee for the residents.
With all that said, it was a good day. I learned a lot and proved that I'm handy with a speculum...if only that were "socially acceptable" outside of a hospital setting. I can't wait till next week. Maybe I'll get to prescribe meds...stay tuned.
*I'm embellishing a bit. Because it was brought to my attention that Cialis does not pass out samples since their stock has plummeted in recent months.
**If this isn't a word...it is now!
***This post is not for those with weak stomachs, under the age of 22, have symptoms of dizziness, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, anemia, throbocytopenia, or allergies to sulfa drugs or cats. The Hunny Bunny holds the right to remove said article from the World Wide Web if the content offends any of the above persons. Proceed at your own risk.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Maximum Density
Well it has been an eye-opening week. School started, the dryer broke, and the scale told the truth. Yeah, you heard me. I tested the waters in the bathroom on Sunday night and I was disgusted at what I saw. After the Hunny Bunny denied that I had gained any weight, I waltzed right into the bathroom and left in shock. I was ashamed. I crawled back into bed with my tail between my legs to report the depressing news to my wife. TEN POUNDS!! In one semester I've managed to pull this magnificent feat off. And this weight is definitely NOT muscle.
I have to admit I knew it was true before the scale. I noticed over the past couple of months that it takes a little more "work" to wiggle into dress pants. I'm careful about the way I manuver in them so the structural integrity of the seam isn't tested too often. Belts are merely an accesory for some of my jeans, they're not needed to hold anything up...My fat butt takes care of that these days. I guess I just didn't want to admit it until Sunday night. I tried to avoid the inevitable by justifying these phenomena. I would tell myself that my clothes have been shrinking in the wash or that I was taller (since that translates into tighter fitting clothing). I was making excuse after excuse until that number flashed on the screen of our fancy digital scale (thanks Beez). It became real at that instant...I had reached the point of maximum density.
So what am I doing to fix this. I had a salad for lunch today. On top of that, The Hunny Bunny and I have made it to the gym the last two nights and put in a couple of miles on the treadmill. I've also tried burning calories by screaming at pedestrians as they walk past my house. That didn't work all that well since I would spend the following hour cowering in the corner hoping that the police had not been phoned.
Well it is the New Year so I'm pretty sure we all have our resolutions. You can probably guess that mine is to get as far away from maximum density as possible. I hope all of you stay away from it too, because we all know they don't make dress pants like they used to.
I have to admit I knew it was true before the scale. I noticed over the past couple of months that it takes a little more "work" to wiggle into dress pants. I'm careful about the way I manuver in them so the structural integrity of the seam isn't tested too often. Belts are merely an accesory for some of my jeans, they're not needed to hold anything up...My fat butt takes care of that these days. I guess I just didn't want to admit it until Sunday night. I tried to avoid the inevitable by justifying these phenomena. I would tell myself that my clothes have been shrinking in the wash or that I was taller (since that translates into tighter fitting clothing). I was making excuse after excuse until that number flashed on the screen of our fancy digital scale (thanks Beez). It became real at that instant...I had reached the point of maximum density.
So what am I doing to fix this. I had a salad for lunch today. On top of that, The Hunny Bunny and I have made it to the gym the last two nights and put in a couple of miles on the treadmill. I've also tried burning calories by screaming at pedestrians as they walk past my house. That didn't work all that well since I would spend the following hour cowering in the corner hoping that the police had not been phoned.
Well it is the New Year so I'm pretty sure we all have our resolutions. You can probably guess that mine is to get as far away from maximum density as possible. I hope all of you stay away from it too, because we all know they don't make dress pants like they used to.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Merry New Year
Well it has been such a busy couple of weeks I don't even know where to begin. I've been on my lustrious winter-break, and so far it's been rather busy. Christmas this year was celebrated on both sides of the country by The Hunny Bunny and I. First we hung out in Globe, AZ with my family for a "Mexican Christmas". It was great. All 7 of my grandma's kids, 11 grandkids, and who knows how many great grandkids and significant others crammed into her house for a couple of days of Christmas glee. After a gift exchange I sat down and consumed a few tamales which was like opening my own little presents for a half an hour.
Christmas day we got our stuff together and drove to the airport and jumped ship to sunny Florida, "The place where your underwear sticks to your butt". It was great. We landed and got to open even more gifts. We made out like bandits. After a busy week of Churchin', sight seein', and sleepin' we were exhausted. We rang in the new year only to wake up 3 hours later to head back to the airport and fly home.
Yesterday we were zombies. We didn't speak much, it was more of a gurgle when either one of us tried to open our mouths and talk. I surprisingly made it through the drive back to Tucson from Phoenix and watched the entire first half of the Rose Bowl. The Hunny Bunny had to tell me who won since I didn't survive the halftime show.
All-in-all it was a great year. I tied the knot in marriage, traveled halfway around the world, moved into our own little townhouse, it was great. I have more than enough to be thankful since none of this I deserve. 2006 was amazing, now let's wait and see how 2007 treats us. Until then, its time to enjoy the rest of my week off...
Christmas day we got our stuff together and drove to the airport and jumped ship to sunny Florida, "The place where your underwear sticks to your butt". It was great. We landed and got to open even more gifts. We made out like bandits. After a busy week of Churchin', sight seein', and sleepin' we were exhausted. We rang in the new year only to wake up 3 hours later to head back to the airport and fly home.
Yesterday we were zombies. We didn't speak much, it was more of a gurgle when either one of us tried to open our mouths and talk. I surprisingly made it through the drive back to Tucson from Phoenix and watched the entire first half of the Rose Bowl. The Hunny Bunny had to tell me who won since I didn't survive the halftime show.
All-in-all it was a great year. I tied the knot in marriage, traveled halfway around the world, moved into our own little townhouse, it was great. I have more than enough to be thankful since none of this I deserve. 2006 was amazing, now let's wait and see how 2007 treats us. Until then, its time to enjoy the rest of my week off...
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