More Than Meets The Eye...*

Last friday I finished six weeks of pediatrics. In all honesty, I had a lot of fun. The doctors were great, the residents were fun, and the kids were just hilarious. I think it's the only time I'll be able to get away with tickling a patient during a physical exam. Anywhere else I would have a sexual harassment suit slapped on me so fast my head would spin. But it wasn't all fun and games. Sometimes the rotation was BIG and it was UGLY...let me explain.

I was on call on a Saturday and I came stumbling into the wards right on time. While I was walking in I noticed an ambulance parked outside...curious. I went in and we were busy. Admits from the night before and two just arriving with me, one of which via the ambulance parked outside. There are only two residents who work the weekends, so obviously they were busy. I decided to help out I would admit one of the patients that just walked through the door. The residents were grateful for the help. But just as I was about to turn the corner, one of them grabbed me and told me the one thing that any medical student dreads..."The caretaker is a Transgender". I wasn't too sure what that word meant, but from his tone, I knew that I was going to have my hands full as I entered the patients room.

I shuffled into the room and next to our tiny little nursing tech stood a massive he/she. I walked up to take the history as I stood in his/her shadow that stretched across the room. I guess the thing that made this entire experience so difficult was I couldn't convince myself of this persons sex. It makes it hard when I'm not sure whether to address a person as "Sir" or "Ma'am". His giant stature, long hair, and 1970 verbage that he rambled off to me suggested this was just a large male hippy. However, the shaved legs and obtuse chest hinted at the opposite gender. It's been a long time since I have been that confused. It was kinda like watching the beginning of Transformers where the crappy little Camaro changed into an awesome fist throwin', butt-kickin', protector of the universe giant robot (Robit, if you are speaking the Queen's English). But instead of this beat up Camaro changing into something awesome, it turned into an Oldsmobile...or something of that nature.

Maybe the resident was wrong and was just equally as confused and just wanted me to be as lost as he was. Who knows. In the end it really doesn't matter. He/she was as helpful as he/she could have been. I was able to get a complete history with very little holes about a patient who threw food and elbows at the nurses and later in the week tried to escape from the hospital. I love it when cartoons and subsequent movies can teach you lessons about life. You can just hear the theme song now...

*This post was not meant to offend. I apologize ahead of time for any mental anguish my jabberings might have caused.